Sick as a Metaphor

I am sick as a dog. Well, that phrase must come from some dark truth that when a dog is sick, he literally loses his shit and makes a real mess. If your dog has a head cold, maybe a runny nose and a light fever, he’ll still wag his tail at the same old dog food he’s been eating for 12 years. I’m more the latter sick dog. My head feels like an industrial barrel of ammonia, my arms sling twenty extra pounds of rice sacks, and my left foot keeps cramping up as I’m limping to make tea — but I still have some “Good Morning Vietnam!” when I bust out that frozen soup in the freezer (from a month ago).