Author: hugh

The Yawning Sarcophagus of Common Sense

The problem with the Tax Day Teabag Protests was that no alternative was offered. Some of those interviewed called Obama a fascist but could not articulate why they felt this way. The governor Texas threatening to secede is apparently signaling his constituents that it’s okay to hate America again. I understand the bipartisan frustration of tax dollars insuring that the wealthy stay wealthy, but middle class truck drivers and factory workers complaining about tax increases is way off the mark. These people didn’t complain when their dollars were funneled to Bush and Cheney cronies amid the privatization of the Iraq War. It’s basically the same thing. Continue reading “The Yawning Sarcophagus of Common Sense”

Salvador Dalí Was a Rodeo

“One day I climbed up as fast as I could to the olive grove where I had carried out all these experiments, but I had brought neither my liquid machine gun nor the live rhinoceros that I would have liked for the prints, nor even some half-dead octopus. It was the only time when, as it did not happen to Louis XIV either, “I would have to wait.” –Diaries, 1960

Terrible Magazine Selection

I don’t know who the manager of this Bank of America is, but he/she is not a go-getter. Do not trust this person to ever go the extra mile.

In Mad Men, the young Don is taught the symbol that tags a house with a “dishonest man.” I say everybody start tagging places the way the hobos do. Someone should invent a tagging system on the internet the way you can tag email as spam. Go for it if you think you can. We have tags and Digg and so on but we could use picture tags for business sites.

New York City Fire Escapes

Many of us have these tiny balconies to hang out on on a nice day but we usually don’t. Why is that? What if a fireman sees you? Is it against the law? (Most people know you can’t grow your garden on your fire escape or use it for any other storage because whatever it is might block your escape from a fire. It’s in your lease.) Because you can see through them, being on them creates vertigo whether you are susceptible to vertigo or not. They usually look and feel flimsy. You wouldn’t jump up and down on them no matter what. Adding to the stigma, some people have thrown parties on fire escapes and the excess weight and crumbling construction has caused them to collapse (although a google search turned up nothing recent). Finally, you’re an exhibitionist if you hang out on your fire escape. The whole neighborhood can see you letting it all hang out when maybe they’re just used to blurry glimpses of you naked every few months. Are you cool with that?

Before air conditioners, people would sleep on them on the hot humid summer nights as seen in Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window. Also famously, Nick uses the fire escape to visit his neighbor Murray in A Thousand Clowns, while Murray uses it as his soap box. “Everybody out in the street for calisthenics and volleyball!” Something like that.

I have a misremembered memory of Batman talking to the citizens of Gotham (Sammy Davis in German here; Lurch here) on fire escapes as he climbed up the sides of buildings but then climbing up a fire escape would’ve been too easy for Batman.

Please enjoy these fire escape portfolios and essays.

Come Back Tomorrow

The other drug store in my neighborhood is open 24 hours, bitches. What’s with all the red?

  • Obama officials embody the corruption he promised to get rid of. Glennzilla reports.
  • Boom time for criminal syndicates.
  • Robot army deployment.
  • Bill Moyers and Michael Winship call for a more serious investigation.

Update: I meant to point out Bob Dylan’s take on Barack Obama…

Ding Dong Deluge

dingdongwaterdamage

I arrived at the Ding Dong Lounge last night to discover a fire truck parked out front and a dozen patrons milling around with New York’s Bravest. Not seeing any smoke, I looked into the bar and saw a waterfall pouring from the ceiling. Chet told me it had subsided quite a bit and earlier the lights had been flickering and from the outside the bar appeared to be collapsing in on itself. He was worried if he had done the right thing by calling fire department. Anyway, the firemen turned the water in the building off and tore up some of the damaged ceiling to let the rest of the water out. We threw ice in the toilets and a fine time was had by all. It turned out the overflowing sink or tub was in one of the top apartments so there’s obviously damage in at least two more apartments between the culprit and the bar.

Once a girlfriend took a bath in my tub and splashed a bit and the overflow drain was rusted and water damage occurred in the apartment below me. My landlord told me if it ever happened again, I would be responsible for the repairs. Doesn’t the landlord have to repair the overflow drain before making such a threat?

Update: The cause at the Ding Dong was determined to be a burst pipe, something the building insurance will have to pay for. The building probably needs an entire plumbing overhaul.

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Beforehand, I’d gone for a walk with a friend through Riverside Park and was surprised to find the 79th Street Boat Basin Café or whatever it’s called already open for business. Some trees are already blooming! Get out there when the rain stops. Spring is here, folks.